anonorange

twoperfectlittlefreaks:

Perfect Little Freaks: Act 4 (Act 1 Act 1 here!)

[A4A3]: yeah thats my full resume

March, 2014

— turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 19:38 —

TG: hey are you busy
TG: rose
TG: rose are you busy
TG: i know youre not really offline
TG: no one is ever really offline
TG: rose
TG: im telling mom
TG: okay so hey mom my big sister is ignoring me stopped working like fifteen years ago
TG: she just laughed at me
TG: holy shit youre deliberately being evasive now arent you
TG: who the fuck wouldnt want to talk to me
TG: im dave fucking lalonde

TT: I thought you decided to change your name.
TG: not until june
TT: And I eagerly anticipate the day I’m freed from the eternal struggle of being your sister and can become the true cousin I’ve always been. 
TT: Then I’ll only be obligated to speak to you at family weddings and funerals. Perhaps we’ll speak occasionally on the phone when my mother wants to talk to her sibling and we can awkwardly fill time by discussing the mundane events that have passed since the last despondent gathering.

TG: holy shit you spiteful bitch

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doctorkillerlol:

eridansemptybucket:

do you ever stop to think what the hell am i reading?

Poetry
1,214,025 plays

leeeeni:

thebeabook:

doctorbeifong:

A truly MINDBLOWING lesson on the origin of American Southern accents.

image

The gif could not be more perfect in describing what just happened.

yay historical linguistics!

Things you should know about each of your characters

the-right-writing:

These are what I would consider to be the most basic, bare-bones questions of character creation.

  • What would completely break your character?
  • What was the best thing in your character’s life?
  • What was the worst thing in your character’s life?
  • What seemingly insignificant memories stuck with your character?
  • Does your character work so that they can support their hobbies or use their hobbies as a way of filling up the time they aren’t working?
  • What is your character reluctant to tell people?
  • How does your character feel about sex?
  • How many friends does your character have?
  • How many friends does your character want?
  • What would your character make a scene in public about?
  • What would your character give their life for?
  • What are your character’s major flaws?
  • What does your character pretend or try to care about?
  • How does the image your character tries to project differ from the image they actually project?
  • What is your character afraid of?
  • What is something most people in your setting do that your character things is dumb?
  • Where would your character fall on a politeness/rudeness scale?

bubonickitten:

thejourneytonirvana:

lilmotel:

envyadams:

today at work i let someone into a dressing room and they said “thanks” and half of me tried to say “you’re welcome” and the other half tried to say “no problem” and i ended up saying “your problem”

image

this post had me in tears

one time a science teacher in my middle school tried to say “sit down” and “shut up” at the same down and instead ended up just yelling “SHIT” at the class

outrageousineptitude:

Jake English

outrageousineptitude:

Jake English

andrewjacksonjihads:

i want someone who will sit on a rooftop with me at 3 am and shave their head while i shave my head and then hotglue the hair to the roof so the roof will have hair

striderfatigue:

*Puts brief case down on the table and takes off glasses very seriously* “So about that AU we discussed that one time.”

bambiwilson:

This is fucking amazing